Australian Representatives

Tommy Silver

The inaugural Superstar. Once a successful male model, he supports  Everton, likes drinking tea in the rain and playing football in a thong.  He auditioned for the roles of both Eddie Munster and Teen Wolf but was turned down.  Hopes one day to grow his hairline down to his eyebrows. 

2004: Gold

2005: Silver

• Pace: 7

• Physical strength: 6

• Endurance: 8

• Co-ordination: 8

• Determination: 8.5

• Favoured Event: Penalty shoot-out

The Azz

The current Superstar champion.  A fear of midgets has not stopped him from performing at the highest level.  Shane Warne diuretics ensured he won the 2005 Superstar title, but is now a lightweight in the evening events.  Faecally gifted, continuously flatulent...a special gene proudly inherited from his Nanna. 

2004: Silver

2005: Gold

• Pace: 8

• Physical strength: 6.5

• Endurance: 9.0

• Co-ordination: 7.5

• Determination: 8.5

• Favoured Event: Cricket (batting)/Tennis

Italian Stallion

Superstar Stallion was famously quoted with "I know I'm going to lose, but I just want to get a few points on the board."  A crowd favoured underdog, especially with the over 80 Ladies.  And the answer Ladies is "Yes, Yes, YES", especially if you are cooking pasta for dinner.    

2004: Last - Official Superstar Loser

2005: Bronze

• Pace: 3

• Physical strength: 7

• Endurance: 6

• Co-ordination: 7.5

• Determination: 7.5

• Favoured Event: Cricket/Penalty Shootout

P.G.

Back-to-back holder of the 'world's fastest' Superstar title.  Likes fluffy handcuffs, stalking hens nights, and cooking toast with a blow torch while wearing lipstick and listening to Abba.  Looks forward to the release of his old time friend Tony from the mental institute.

2004: Bronze

2005: Last - Official Superstar Loser

• Pace: 9

• Physical strength: 4

• Endurance: 8

• Co-ordination: 7.5

• Determination: 7.5

• Favoured Event: 100m

Beefcake Rob

Likes beefcake juice, beefcake powder and beefcake.  If there was a sport for lifting heavy things beside weight lifting he would surely be a world champion at it.  Can crack a walnut between his pecs, and a sausage between his buns.  Role model:  The Hoff. 

2004: Runner-up last

2005: Did not complete mandatory drug testing

• Pace: 4

• Physical strength: 10

• Endurance: 6

• Co-ordination: 3.5

• Determination: 5.5

• Favoured Event: Shot-put

Doggers

Yet to compete.  A natural at tending to flower gardens, pottery, knitting and all things feminine.  Unable to successfully navigate his way around a ski-lift.  Mature ladies are drawn to his square head, his resemblance to Scott Fisher and his exceptional knowledge of Heat, Cleo and Teen Girl Monthly.  

• Pace: 6

• Physical strength: 7

• Endurance: 7

• Co-ordination: 6.5

• Determination: 6.5

• Favoured Event: Ladies netball

Riff Raff

Yet to compete in full.  A bent back has prevented what could have been a successful River-dance career.  However, he has persevered and has become a fine dance teacher to children with disabilities.  A real Samaritan.  In fact, in some circles he is known as a giver.

• Pace: 6

• Physical strength: 5

• Endurance: 6

• Co-ordination: 7.5

• Determination: 4.5

• Favoured Event: Salsa (if available)

Milo

He's got blow up muscles, but is yet to compete.  A quiet achiever and a serious dark horse.  Once stared in the Billy Elliot production (not the main role, but the gay friend who gets a snog and then dumped).  Likes a back, sack and crack wax.

• Pace: 9

• Physical strength: 7

• Endurance: 9

• Co-ordination: 7.5

• Determination: 6.5

• Favoured Event: Skip-rope (if available)